Dealing With Nasty Habits In Nice Children

Even the most well-behaved children often develop nasty little habits such as nose picking, nail biting, or head banging.

If your child picks her nose, for example, let her know it's not polite to do so in public, and offer her a tissue. Allergies and colds can cause dryness in the nose, so try using a saline spray to help make picking unnecessary. Of course, be sure she washes her hands after picking or blowing her nose.

If your child pulls her hair, cut her hair shorter. If she pulls her hair out, and the behavior continues for any length of time (a year or more), get therapeutic treatment. This more serious condition is called trichotillomania and is more common than you might think, but it is best handled with the help of a therapist who understands the syndrome. Trichotillomania sometimes includes pulling hair from the eyebrows and eyelashes. If your toddler begins to pull from these areas, seek help immediately because this hair is delicate.

Nail biting is a similar habit to hair pulling, and it's best to simply keep your child's nails well-trimmed. If she begins to bite her cuticles, keep them soft and trimmed as well. Of course, if your child continues to bite to the point of bleeding, you will have to take more concerted action. The best defense is to give the child something else to do with her fingers – drawing, petting a stuffed animal, etc. If she's old enough, you can teach her more intricate tasks like paper folding or weaving.

Like thumb sucking, some of these habits are self-soothing behaviors during times of stress, fatigue or boredom. Most of the time, these habits will stop on their own. However, if your child is getting close to school age, you may want to get some professional help in order to ease the transition into school. There is no shame in this. Childhood is stressful no matter how great you are as parents, and everyone needs a little help now and then.

As you try to change some behaviors such as thumb sucking, try distractions such as blowing bubbles or other games, but don't tell your child it's a substitute for the behavior you're trying to change. That will automatically cause resistance.

If your child is a head banger, it's unlikely he will suffer injury. However, you can put your mind at ease by padding the area where he bangs his head. This habit releases tension for some children, so understand that there's a payoff for your child. You can try other ways to relieve your child's tension, such as playing soft music.

Of course, the most embarrassing habit of all is masturbation. This is very normal for toddlers who are simply exploring their bodies. However, it's important for children to understand that this is a private activity. Whatever your beliefs are about masturbation, try not to cause your child to feel guilty about it. It's a non-sexual act for young children. All they know is it's another part of the body, and it feels good to touch.

In order to stop a really stubborn habit, it's important not to draw too much attention to it. Your child may then associate attention from you with the habit, causing him to simply do it more. Instead, be sure to give your child lots of positive attention when he isn't engaged in his bad habit. Praise him when he has managed to avoid falling into the habitual behavior.

If your child has more than one bad habit, focus on only one at a time, and don't become distressed if the habit is tenacious. Simply relax and understand that the habit will more than likely stop on its own. If the habit becomes a big problem, seek help from a therapist. However, it's rare that parents have to resort to therapy for habits such as these.

If you believe your child's behavior is linked to stress, talk with him to determine the cause of the stress. Ask, "How do you feel when it's time for bed? Does it make you feel scared because it's dark?" Of course, toddlers are just learning the language, and you may have to read between the lines to figure out what's bothering your little one. If you can't get a handle on the cause, watch for reasons why your child might become stressed. Provide soft music, warm hugs, and soothing stories to help him relax. Teach him to recognize when he feels anxious, and practice deep breathing and singing to himself when anxiety arises.

Allowing your child to have a certain amount of control over his life will help him to feel less stressed. Give him choices to make whenever it's possible to do so, even if it's simply choosing between the blue shirt or the green shirt.

Another way to encourage your child to break a bad habit is to create a chart that keeps track of when he succeeds. Don't make note of when he fails, but add a star or some other sticker when he manages to get through a period of time without the habit. Don't make him feel that you're only proud of him if he succeeds, but let him know you're proud of his efforts and improvement. Celebrate his success with him, telling him that he's doing better. Be patient with him so that he can be patient with himself. We all know it's difficult to break poor habits. It's best not to offer rewards such as toys because you want your child to be motivated to break the habit for himself rather than for a reward, but you can certainly celebrate together with ice cream or some other special treat.

Tip of the Week:

Bear in mind that the problem could simply be a result of your child not getting enough sleep. Toddlers need at least 12 hours of sleep every day between nap time and night time. Without it, your little one will become tired and anxious, and this may cause the need for self-soothing habits.

I hope you enjoyed this article.