Heading Back to Work

Returning to work after having a child can be very difficult. Whether you feel the need to work for financial or professional reasons, most mothers feel guilty and worry about how they can balance a job with parenting.

When is the best time to return to work? There is no one answer to this question. Every family must make a decision based on individual circumstances. Many mothers return to work when their child reaches six months old. Others prefer to wait until their baby reaches toddler or school age. For some, waiting simply isn't an option, as the family requires the additional income. However, take the time to do some calculating. Will your extra income be high enough to offset the cost of child care and transportation?

If you're having difficulty deciding whether or not you should return to work, do a trial run with your child. Leave her for a brief period of time with a babysitter to see how attached your little one is to you. Don't give up on the first try, however. It make take a few times to see how she handles being without your constant presence. Teaching your child some independence and socializing her with other people is good for her whether or not you return to work, and you may find that she handles it better than you expected.

Of course, whenever you decide to return to work, it can make a big difference if you have some help from relatives or friends. Otherwise, if both parents are working part of the time, you will have to hire a babysitter or find a day care centre for your child.

Whatever arrangements you make, be sure to give your child some time to get used to the new situation before you return to work. Enroll in day care before your start date or hire the sitter, nanny or au pair while you will still be available. This eases your child – and you – into the transition and makes it less stressful for both of you. Leave your child for short periods, and build up to the length of time you will be at work. When the day comes to start your job, it won't feel like such an astronomical change. Keep a backup plan in place in case your sitter is ill or has a family emergency. If your little one is leaving your home for his care, take with you whatever will help him to feel more comfortable and reassured.

Of course, starting with part-time work will be easier for you, but this isn't always possible. Ask your employer for flexibility if you need it. If you can't return to the job you had prior to the birth, try to find an employer understanding of the demands of parenthood. If your job gives you no leeway, you will definitely become stressed. So, if at all feasible, try to find a job that will not be overly demanding of your time and energy. You will be very glad you did.

When it comes time to leave your child in the care of someone else as you go off to work, try not to become too distressed if your little one cries. This can happen all of a sudden even weeks down the road. As long as you're satisfied that your baby is not ill, ask your sitter or day care worker to distract your baby with a toy, a hug, or a game. If your child still doesn't accept that you're leaving, ask the caregiver to pull out a favorite toy the minute you leave, or perhaps buy a surprise new toy that you know will enthrall your little one. Explain to him that you love him and that you'll be back just a little bit later. Bear in mind that little ones rarely continue crying for long after you've left. This is simply a transition that many children go through. Try to establish a routine, however, which will help your child adjust. Children feel safer once they learn each step in their daily process, and they're more comfortable when you stick with that process.

Bear in mind that no matter when you return to work, you are taking on an extra job. You will now essentially have two jobs – your occupation and your job as parent. Balancing these two jobs is a constant challenge, and organization is key. If you have difficulty with organization, begin to develop those skills now. Knowing where things are, having everything in its place, and setting a schedule will do so much to reduce your stress level that it's well worth the preliminary work to get things in order. Make lists, and include time for yourself on those lists. If you don't take time for yourself to decompress and breathe, you'll no doubt find yourself losing your temper with your child, your spouse, or someone else. Get as much help as you can afford. Search for other parents in your area until you find ones that you can trust, and make arrangements to alternate watching each other's children. This will afford you and your partner the opportunity for some alone time, while offering the same to the other parents. Eat well and drink plenty of water. The more nutrition you receive, the more energy you will have.

If you're still breastfeeding when you go back to work, you will need to make additional preparations for the transition. Breastfeed before you go to work and as soon as you are reunited with your baby at the end of the day. This will maintain the bond with your child. Explore ways to express breast milk, and begin giving your little one the occasional bottle prior to going to work so that he gets used to it. Keep a stock of breast milk in the freezer, or make sure your baby is used to formula before you're no longer available all day.

No matter how difficult it is for you to return to work after having a baby, remember that many parents have walked the path and come through with flying colors. You can too!

Tip of the Week: Know your legal rights as a working parent. This will prevent you from being taken advantage of by your employer. And when you get your first paycheck, buy yourself a little something. You deserve it!

I hope you enjoyed this article.